So here I am feeling more than just the Monday blues. With a difficult period at work, an upcoming wedding, having my mother in law stay with us and just general parenting and life, my brain is completely swamped. My mind is so overworked and I’m becoming aware that the cracks are beginning to show.
The irritability towards people and just generally feeling super sensitive, it’s feels like the world is getting on top of me. I think most of the battle is a battle with my mind. One that constantly beats myself up for everything. Wondering why exactly I’m feeling like this when I have a lovely life. A wonderful family, good friends and so much to look forward to but why do I feel the way I do sometimes?! It’s frustrating to feel overwhelming feelings of sadness, madness and quite often just badness. It’s an inability to describe how you’re feeling other than just, ‘meh!’
Feelings of guilt and selfishness take over when you hate having these thoughts when life is so good, so why doesn’t it feel it?! I feel like life will always be a battle with anxiety. I worry about things that haven’t even happened yet or things that most people wouldn’t even think could happen and it’s bloody exhausting. For me the 1 in 4 people suffer mental health issues statistics never really resonated with me. Before Noah, I’d never really let much get me down but with growing up, grows more pressures.
And it’s only Monday right?! I’m determined not to let things get me down and try to focus on the positives. It’s so important to do things for yourself when you’re feeling like. Today I went for a coffee, on my own and completely uninterrupted. I sat, I thought, I watched and I wrote. It really did help!
It’s more than ok to admit that you’re not feeling ok. I guess for me it’s the only way to deal with it. I’ve had my rant and I’ve had my reflection and time for me. When you’re aware of your feelings, you find your own ways to deal with them. For me, it’s self care! Doings things for ME, to make ME feel better. This includes a coffee ALONE (which I know is hard for us parents sometimes), a face-mask, a glass of wine and some chill out time. Also could probably do with a decent nights sleep.. whatever that is anymore! 😂
Happy Monday anyway. I hope everyone is ok and if you’re not then that’s ok but please talk to someone. A rant really can help! I know you might think you’re a burden and I often apologise to friends about my moaning but I know deep down they don’t mind. They want to help. ❤️ As hard as it is sometimes, I challenge you all the think of three things you’re grateful for. It might not change the world, but it’s certainly a good start to a more positive outlook.
My three things I am grateful for are:
1. Having a beautiful, cheeky and healthy little boy.
2. Marrying an amazing man. I don’t often tell him but he really does mean the world and without him, I don’t know how I’d cope.
3. I’m getting married. Despite the stress and the planning, I’m so excited to get married and share my special day with all my wonderful friends and family! ❤️
So what are your three things you are grateful for?! I’d love to hear them…